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TOP TEN MOST JIZZABLE SONGS
(from least jizzy to most)

Not necessarily the BEST songs of all time... just the ones that make you hott

10. "California" by Phantom Planet
Iíve decided itís his voice. The whole, tragic boy on a road trip sound. Plus, who doesnít jizz at the thought of going to California??

9. "Lose You" by Pete Yorn
Another tragic one, but hott just the same! And I mean... Peteís everywhere! In L.A. doing a concert, on a movie soundtrack, in the studio recording new tracks, and PETE! Get outta my pants! And if you get out your telescope... yep. Thatís Petey on the moon too!

8. "40 oz to Freedom" by Sublime
This song talks about sex, alcohol, fogged up windows, and freedom. Whatís not to jizz at?

7. "Soul Love" by David Bowie
The first Bowie song I fell in love with, and also quite a jizzy one!!! "Inspiration have I none, just to touch the flaming dove..." Also sounds great when sung only with an acoustic guitar plus side comments!

6. "Get Over It" by Ok Go
The voice, the beat... "gotta body like a battle ax"

5. "Love in an Elevator" by Aerosmith
Itís easy: Thereís sex and there's an elevator. If you find something thatís not jizzy there... just tell me! And as Derek pointed out, sex goes up and down... just like an elevator!

4. "Breed" by Snake River Conspiracy
Ya, this song or ANYTHING by SRC could be number four. Toby yells a lot, and the lyrics can be pretty crazy. I love 'em. They make me jizzy!

3. "Straight" by Veruca Salt
Similar to SRC!! Plus it has girls begging guys to "stay straight" because everythingís so much better that way. Basically I just love Veruca Salt.

2. "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails
A classic. "I want to fuck you like an animal"

1. "Guerilla Radio" by Rage Against the Machine
ZACH DE LA ROCHA MAKES ME JIZZ. The most jizzy song I can think of. The body, the voice, the politics. "turn that shit up!" NO Zach... you turn ME up!

 
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"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
-Correction notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper

Random Link

The Bone Network
Derek's informative site on the greatest comic!

 
           
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